husk /essem

300

2010-06-02T10:36:00.002-04:00

*

2010-04-27T23:52:00.001-04:00

if you're going to use my images on your facebook profile, at least let me know who you are: http://www.facebook.com/descendo

not where you are

2010-01-10T18:33:00.000-05:00

black and white summer

2009-10-20T14:03:00.004-04:00

skipping ahead / no summer

2009-09-24T12:18:00.001-04:00

We've lost a precious one, and gained some more (a close one in the middle, that has yet to be resolved) / "Time spent wishing..." / We agree that we start daily marathons... with a loss of breath at the starting line / What should've been done months ago is still in progress -- luck deals its hand and priorities change / I've had my first real experience as a replacement father figure / august 15th - husk /essem turns 4 / A spring-like summer within the four arches of Little Italy, no longer an exiled visitor, it is home again. I am not of italian decent, but I am welcome here. I can name other areas where I am not / I've been subject to fraudulent practices and now I can prove it; I'm slowly basking in the glow of justice and it feels deliciously evil / September 23rd marks the 11th anniversary / My love took me away from it all, just in time / I spent almost fifteen years on the west end and now I've spent one on the east; it is roughly five streets away and the morning sun hits the windows in the exact same way / David Pajo came to greet us at Osheaga (with the aid of a golf cart) / There hasn't been a single bottle of scotch in the apartment since December last year / I owe much; they do too / Apparently, roughly thirty years ago, breaking out a guitar would make you at least a couple hundred on the spot / There's a debate now on the imposed length of records; wether it was intentional or limited to a certain amount of time back in the day as opposed to the mediums that are available today... and I want nothing to do with it / Hippies choose awful colors with which to paint their apartments. Actually, I flat out don't care for hippies in any fashion. I am quite certain philosophy and clean hair can coexist (in mutual tolerance despite different ideologies, interests or a lack thereof) / It's an obvious fault to care a great deal -- just as it is not to / Just everyday observations / Delight is: the exact moment a thirty-something male realizes his nightlife game was born when Nirvana's "Nevermind" came out / One might find it trivial but I find it ever so compelling -- not at odds; at a distance / I've been getting generous loans and offerings from family and friends (always those that can't really afford to in the first place), to keep me going in the meantime -- see? you can say it / It isn't easy to throw away scribbles / I've been contemplating the establishment of a religion that would allow my children to carry firearms in class (at least a 9mm, anything that could counter a Kirpan). We will base the entirety of our lives on the laws and machinations of a threat-in-the-sky that we cannot see / Revolution later / "Don't know what you got 'til it's gone" I really do, but that won't stop it from leaving ("Time spent wishing...") / You can do both / I'm not being serious, I'm just saying. The pictures always spoke more than the words / Some sort of slow autumn, nobody really knows / I miss you so much /

2009-08-18T01:40:00.001-04:00

hang in there

May wounds

2009-05-30T12:21:00.001-04:00

A blend of sudden shocks and endless hours of waiting. And hope.

2009-05-11T13:01:00.001-04:00

2009-05-11T12:59:00.001-04:00

2009-05-04T15:46:00.002-04:00

North East Little Italy

2009-04-25T15:45:00.000-04:00

2009-04-16T13:40:00.001-04:00

Rencontres de l'Adisq 2009 / design honteux

2009-03-25T16:33:00.003-04:00

À voir (et je ne peux même pas mettre un lien direct aux images -- c'est des SLICES!!) : Rencontres de l'Adisq 2009. Savez-vous à quel point c'est gênant lorsque je dois présenter le "cœur de l'industrie du disque au Québec" à mes clients/collègues en dehors du Canada? "Wow! So you guys in the francophone market are still hung up on The Matrix? Do you have the Internet up there yet? Mp3s?" -- incroyable (quoi que la majorité des tables ne savaient pas c'était quoi le Bit Torrent en 2004). Chialage et/ou faute grave soulignée, c'est certainement pas une bannière que je vais prôner fièrement (ou du tout).

update: oh que ça monte vite sur Google

2009-03-18T15:34:00.002-04:00

2009-03-15T15:33:00.000-04:00

2009-03-10T15:34:00.000-04:00

PURIST MATHEMATIC

2009-03-06T14:12:00.002-05:00

I am about to release reworked sketchbook pieces as hors série prints; they date back to 2007 and they illustrate a group of two that harmed us, depicted as naked and vulnerable beneath the power. I might add full blocks of STRAIGHT bold/black text references above them, it will not be innovative, it will appear to lack ability in design and it does not matter; it is the purist mathematic art form (voir aussi; froid) that I adore.

2009-02-26T19:23:00.001-05:00

Closure for Bill Hicks

2009-01-31T00:54:00.002-05:00

Dare to offend | Bruce Dessau / Guardian.co.uk :"Fifteen years is a long time to wait but better late than never. On tonight's Late Show With David Letterman, Mary Hicks, the mother of iconic standup comedian Bill Hicks, will discuss her son, who died of pancreatic cancer at the age of 32 on 26 February 1994. More importantly, the show will finally air the Hicks routine that was dramatically cut from a Letterman show in October 1993." Read the rest at www.guardian.co.uk

2009-01-23T15:53:00.001-05:00

2009-01-23T15:48:00.001-05:00

montrealstateofmind.com

2009-01-23T10:47:00.000-05:00

When I first heard of Montreal State Of Mind (aka MSOM) over on The Béhance Network, I was automatically weary of it. Call it force of habit (or experience), but I was pleasantly surprised to find that it was devoid of any "Montrealer elitism" that I've come to find in my immediate circles over the years. A rare thing especially in the designer circuit (one that I've constantly criticized, a mes dépends). The blog is operated primarily by Monica Giliati & Jean-Aymeri De Magistris and its appeal is a genuine enthusiasm for creativity, local events and local artists (sans obvious agenda). I've recently joined as a guest author (see: here) and if all goes well I should add my latest work exclusively to their sister site: www.mtldesigners.com as soon as I'm done with the financial logistics of complete print packages. Thanks, MSOM!

hmm this does not bode well for h/e

2009-01-20T14:21:00.004-05:00

Most of the small shots posted on husk/essem came from a very weak yet reliable samsung mobile phone (1.3 megapixels to be exact) but I've always managed to clean them up for atmosphere's sake within Photoshop (secret tricks). I've even been able to pull off print versions of the collections, remember? // h/e photo collection prints // But I've recently switched phones and though the megapixels on my new razr are stronger, the results are not. I hate to carry around a huge camera, this goes hand in hand with the "moment publishing" that has become husk/essem; imperfect and intimate glimpses. The new photos are littered with screen lines which become all the more obvious once converted to grayscale. There might be a hiatus until I can get my hands on one of those nice 8 megapixel phones...

2008-12-29T09:37:00.001-05:00

2008-12-25T09:36:00.000-05:00

2008-12-20T09:34:00.000-05:00

2008-12-15T09:36:00.000-05:00

2008-12-06T17:07:00.001-05:00

2008-12-05T13:06:00.000-05:00

2008-12-04T09:12:00.000-05:00

2008-12-03T09:12:00.000-05:00

2008-12-02T19:51:00.000-05:00

il motore ?

2008-12-01T16:58:00.005-05:00

Il Motore grand opening on December 4th 2008 (West edge of Montreal's Little Italy). Look it up, it's where the Zeebra used to be (where it is still, in my mind). I'm getting all sorts of mixed emotions about it but I'm willing to keep an open mind.

Speaking of bars I've lost, a special nod to Segafredo (downtown) -- ain't no Segafredo left in the city anymore, you'll be missed.

fuck your trumpets, no offense

2008-11-26T14:14:00.006-05:00

We've been hearing several complaints that our local indie-8-piece-bands are having trouble being booked outside of the Mile-End now. Is it possible that the allure is (finally) fading? So soon after SPIN magazine's "nouveau-Seattle" mention? (smirks) You've pigeonholed yourselves. You wouldn't let anyone else in (especially not the frenchies), so why should the rest of the city give a damn? It's ok though, you can all go become DJs now; that market's healthy.

just a bit of reckoning

2008-11-23T15:56:00.003-05:00

consider it my way of helping you google me better / enjoy your stay, partisan.

h/e: december 2005

h/e: august 2006

h/e: june 2007

I can't fault the 3/4 of you.

2008-11-23T15:05:00.000-05:00

2008-11-22T21:51:00.002-05:00

Spent most of the last four years figuring out where to go instead of appreciating where I was. Time is/was of the essence and I ain't there yet either. There were happy and nostalgic lapses where I did savor the moment, and some not so pleasant occasions where I was forced to. Bad luck notwithstanding, the fault is my own. We talk a lot about luck, my family and I, not taking for granted the fundamental things we've always been lucky enough to share, but rather that extra push of luck that seems to shine on so many of you out there. A few months ago in Cali, it seemed as though the streets were littered with "Rich Dad Seminar" posters -- business profiteering from a solid ground income not unlike the extra push I refer to. I would like those who solicit this advice to admit they've been fortunate enough to experience a kickstart (given that it is the case) if only so that I can appear to be more leveled in comparison. It has happened to me before; well-meant advice can come with a condescending twist -- if you omit to mention, for instance, that your grandfather's passing gave you something with which to pay off a mortgage (or the establishment of a certain business chain that will remain unnamed). That just isn't fair (see also; me being honestly envious). It is common, it is excessively common but it isn't commonly stated -- as if it would undermine one's personal struggle were it to be known. If the push is implied along with the aforementioned advice (and gratifyingly so), then it is much easier for the less fortunate to identify with. In other words; hell yes I would've done the same. Good luck!

2008-11-10T15:32:00.001-05:00

2008-11-10T15:27:00.001-05:00

2008-11-09T15:25:00.000-05:00

you might want to RSS instead of just checking in for updates

You are not an Art Director

2008-11-06T13:01:00.001-05:00

You might think that you are an art director but it is most likely not the case. Granted, the title carries weight and offers an appealing level of service superior to that of a simple graphic designer but it is not a profession to which you automatically graduate to after an amount of time spent working in the field. The misconception comes from a mistaken sense of authority/autonomy generally found among freelance artists (it has been my path for the last decade) and the general misuse of the title impedes the profession itself (i.e.: mine, on occasion).

Sending specific instructions to a printer does not make you an art director. Establishing a set of colors and ethical rules to a client's visual identity does not make you an art director. Any coordination and/or marketing strategies that are provided as opinions or experienced advice does not make you an art director. Making executive decisions on behalf of your client does not make you an art director.

These are implicit tasks that are not only required but expected by your client/contract and unless you control the financial aspects of the situations above, teams to execute them and the rights to the sanctioned work -- you are not an art director. It might not be mentioned in the job description, but it is expected that a bus driver, for instance, should be able to gas up his transport and perhaps even find alternate routes to his trajectory if any of these situations are to occur -- but these do not make the bus driver a traffic manager.

This isn't meant to be in detriment to designers but a certain clarification is necessary especially in Montreal where the title is confounded by several linguistic definitions (Art Director, Directeur Artistique, Directeur Graphique, Design Director, Directeur de Création, Chargé de projet, Gratifika etc.) but I'll leave that part up to you.

If you ARE an art director, then by all means, carry on and good luck with your gray hairs and advanced aging. Good times,

memory lane

2008-10-30T14:16:00.002-04:00

h/e juxtapo on the Behance Network.

2008-10-23T19:51:00.000-04:00

2008-10-13T19:44:00.001-04:00

September Pacific / 02

2008-10-13T19:14:00.001-04:00

Canadian Elections

2008-10-07T10:46:00.004-04:00

One french canadian perspective en anglais in short non-elaborative phrases: Times have changed, at least here in Montreal Quebec. The linguistic racism between the french and the english has slowly left the building. It isn't completely gone, it never will either, but it isn't as it was back in the day... and that is because several other enemies have arrived to take the focus off of each other. That is the modern reason. The new generation hasn't felt the racism's full force either. The french, under abusive catholic control, were poor while the anglophones got rich. That sums up some roots of the issue without going into Durham or any other endless details (you could go visit senior citizens to find out more, and your jaw will drop, I guarantee you'll feel like burning your flag too). So one would vote Bloc to piss off the Liberals and vice versa. This doesn't apply anymore. Quebec used to feed 5 other provinces financially. Canada needed it to stick around. There were strategic reasons for seperatism but it doesn't apply today because of the aformentionned new enemies. I have to admit this. It is with a heavy heart that I must admit it. I have to let go of the torch of pain, abuse and revenge passed down from the old guard and I hope you will too (even you, the inbred morons of Alberta). I love to strike against Liberals but I can't keep on voting "in spite". It's over. Those issues are over. Our southern neighbors are puppeteering the Conservatives but really -- all parties will be subjected to this. It's a non-issue, it'll happen with whoever is in power. As for the NDP and whoever else in the bottom positions, it's a shame but it's easy for them to sound good. Anybody in the lower rows can say whatever they want if they're never in power to actually pull it off (but you can't fault the aim when it is to please, right?). XXXX was a Liberal who got elected, on his first day, his desk had an enveloppe with papers that required him to "sign here" and he refused. The following week, after his family recieved several threats (these are the people I know), he signed the papers in the enveloppe. We all heard similar stories. They're true. Whoever we elect (given that votes actually count) will have similar enveloppes waiting on the desks. This makes the endless debating somewhat irrelevant. I'm just saying voting should be taken with a grain of salt. And if you don't intend to vote, the only real way to say "fuck you" to the whole system is by making your vote NULL. Peace.

2008-10-02T22:35:00.000-04:00

2008-09-24T10:29:00.000-04:00

2008-09-23T13:02:00.000-04:00

10 years ~ RIP ~ September 23rd 1998 - 2008

September Pacific / 01

2008-09-17T16:19:00.002-04:00

250/250

2008-08-15T16:19:00.002-04:00

Now that I share my life à deux, I've kept a solid lock on everything... as it should be. For public privacy, might I direct you to the past two August 15th anniversaries: 100/100 [2006] & 200/200 [2007]

2008-08-14T23:49:00.001-04:00

2008-08-14T15:52:00.000-04:00

2008-08-14T09:54:00.000-04:00

Descendo Prints Series 05 | Capture

2008-08-13T02:10:00.003-04:00

A year late, but here she is; miss five replacing three. Check out the print series here

░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░

2008-08-11T13:46:00.001-04:00

A link to dusty old Le Soir home demos ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ||

late night wine at the casa & in your backyard etc.

2008-08-09T12:43:00.001-04:00

what have they done to you

2008-08-08T12:45:00.000-04:00

[...] and fireworks

2008-08-07T12:41:00.000-04:00

husk/essem : photo collection print 3

2008-07-29T08:54:00.001-04:00

NOTE: The following file is hosted on a server so that you can download and print it yourself via your local printer (preferably on matte paper then laminated). The format of the print file is 20" x 20", it is on a white background that doesn't require any bleed. You must not let your printer re-size the file, keep it as is or print it on a 20" x 24" / 30" x 36" canvas if necessary with resolution resampling.

A higher resolution preview of the print is available : here
Download the print file : here
[Right Click / Save as]

The new tenants of 7157 St-Dominique Montreal Quebec

2008-07-18T00:36:00.000-04:00

I'm reposting this a few weeks later but on JULY 18th 2008 through sheer emotional coincidence (via my family and little italy's help) I've met the new tenants of 7157 St-Dominique / they deserve my respect and their newfound home. A heavy load was lifted off of my shoulders and I was in a complete state of semi-explicable euphorism for the following 24 hours.

2008-07-14T14:39:00.001-04:00

2008-07-13T14:38:00.000-04:00

2008-07-07T14:37:00.000-04:00

2008-07-06T14:35:00.000-04:00

2008-07-05T14:34:00.000-04:00

As it is today.

2008-07-04T14:32:00.000-04:00

As it was on July 2nd 2007.

2008-07-03T14:36:00.000-04:00

Wednesday July 2nd 2008 | Little Italy.

2008-06-28T13:16:00.001-04:00

Un an Mercredi le 2 Juillet 2008.

gard

2008-06-27T13:29:00.001-04:00

2008-06-13T13:28:00.000-04:00

2008-06-09T14:40:00.000-04:00

vacate

2008-06-04T14:37:00.000-04:00

Quebec: Hide the cigarettes

2008-05-31T15:43:00.004-04:00

This week in an apparent tax-funded Liberal Policy, a new anti-tabacco law requires all retailers to hide their cigarettes from the view of customers inside cabients or behind sliding doors. So? Non-smokers were never tempted to buy cigarettes due to their visibility. Smokers never needed a visual reference as a reminder to replenish their addiction either; a smoker's system (like my own for instance) physically and mentally brings up the so-called habbit every thirty mintues automatically. That's all it takes. I could be out of milk (or food for that matter) late at night and I won't bother to make the trip to the local corner store -- but I will if I'm out of smokes. Doesn't matter if they're locked up "out of sight" in some inpenetrable dungeon vault -- we'll get em' when our body tells us to. That's all it takes. Now see, I LOVE smoking (and by the way, if you live in a metropolitan area, you smoke too) and I am a respectful smoker at that (ask my non-smoking girlfriend) but get this; I am PRO anti-tabacco law ... but I am AGAINST the "campaign". The latest spiel on h/e concerning the anti-tabacco law was just that -- it was meant to point out that the campaign and its' slogan "le Québec respire mieux" is an insult to smokers AND non-smokers alike. Remember these ads? Thousands and thousands of em' (posters, flyers, coasters etc) printed in color -- on non-recycled paper -- claiming that we now "breathe" better... that must've cost us lots of trees, you know, just to tell us what we already knew. That's another right-wing erection right there, very popular in Quebec actually, but it is also an attack on personal freedom and common sense. You ARE next. You're overweight? You're next. You use hand-held devices? You're next. Like so: potential future warnings. They want me to smoke, they make lots of money off of it -- they want you to gamble, they make lots of money off of it (SOS JEU my ass) -- but it seems less transparent when they try to make it look as though they're trying to "help us out" right? Here's a novel idea: ban the cigarettes.

Email comments to: simon@descendo.com

[COMMENTS UPDATE]

"... the law's in place mainly to prevent teens' exposure to the products... "

Seems logical but "teens" find illegal drugs and those aren't on display ANYWHERE -- are they?

2008-05-18T11:53:00.000-04:00

2008-05-14T11:36:00.000-04:00

2008-05-12T10:10:00.000-04:00

2008-04-26T12:28:00.001-04:00

dédut de printemps

2008-04-21T13:45:00.001-04:00

2008-03-24T12:11:00.001-04:00

2008-03-19T11:45:00.002-04:00

Le Soir
live acoustic / opening set for Plajia
Saturday March 22nd 2008 9pm
Bistro In Vivo, Montreal
More info
www.plajia.com
www.le-soir.com

2008-03-04T16:58:00.001-05:00

2008-02-26T16:56:00.000-05:00

1998

2008-02-22T12:31:00.004-05:00

There's gonna be lots of 10th anniversaries this year and they're all under everybody's radars. It's what makes them special; to have a profound and personal love/understanding for something that was overlooked or quickly forgotten. Those that did raise alarms, at least, are understood and respected; like the passing of my dearest friend. I was fortunate enough to savor what little time that we had left before he passed away, something that is not often afforded to most when dealing with death's fell swoop. And despite the imminent loss, those were exceptionally joyous days. Several albums came out that year that were also completely cast aside but I've treasured them since as the soundtrack of that year's summer/autumn seasons. 10 years later, demos and rareties leak as nostalgia and a renewed interest settles in, but I've been on the lookout ever since. It was one of those that came into my hands last year in September at the 9th anniversary (which was also a new chapter of drastic change), the song's lyrics had a litteral mention of my experience. I knew somehow, back in '98, that I was at a fortunate turning point in my life, unburdened by any responsibilites but also in a critical period to establish a role for myself in the years to come. These choices shaped the ten years that followed. Here I am again, in love, contemplating the next ten.

2008-02-05T00:04:00.001-05:00

black and white glimpse of a personal painting for roma

2008-01-18T13:08:00.001-05:00

2008-01-14T12:22:00.000-05:00

It's that time again, The 2007 Canadian Blog Awards and I've been nominated purely out of friendly interest -- surely not as a popular favorite -- in the following category if you care to vote, that is... click here : Best Photo/Art Blog. Merci

new york / new year's

2008-01-03T16:32:00.000-05:00

2007-12-26T16:35:00.000-05:00

2007-12-24T11:00:00.000-05:00

A bright 2am moon hit the piles of snow in a rare vivid blue-ish hue. The night lights appeared to lessen the multiple trials that make the season a non-holiday. One calm moment for perspective and peace.

2007-12-19T10:58:00.000-05:00

12 good reasons to drink coffee

2007-12-14T12:03:00.000-05:00

A second cup of coffee was brewing just as a handmade package landed in my mailbox this morning; a mini-book entitled "12 good reasons to drink coffee" with a hand drawn coffee mug on the enveloppe -- seemed awfully poetic to me. The book is done by Guyaline Couture and she certainly knows a thing or two about design -- and coffee for that matter. My morning (mini) review of the (mini) book may seem biased 'cause I've often made reference to her on h/e -- she is, first and foremost, someone I openly admire (and those of you who know of my "ego" should consider this), she is a friend and she is also my go-to mentor when I'm having issues with my personal design work -- and I will speak of it regardless. The book itself is surprisingly lively, considering the subject matter (our social health-concensus mis à part with whatever negativity can be derived from caffeine, please... ), it is littered with illustrations, shapes, typefaces and quotes depicted in 12 reasons according to the author but it is also somehow "interactive" with deliberate (mini) sections made to add-in your own perceptions and suggestions (though I doubt anyone would actually dare write anything in it, unless it were for some sort of design-remix experiment). Pages twist and turn with type and drawings in various directions. The "Reasons" shown therein range from philosophical to charming simplicity with an array of coffee cup/mug designs all their own (Reason 7, for instance, "When I'm cold" features an illustrated pair of "winter mittens"). "12 good reasons to drink coffee - according to Guylaine Couture" is a pure example that you can take the ball and run with it ... creatively; passion makes everything boundless.

Available here in french and in english.
4" x 3.25" - printed black on recycled paper
For more: Guylaine Couture www.gycouture.com | gycouture blog

descendo arts | blog

2007-12-10T10:57:00.000-05:00

The complete catalog all on its own blogger: descendoarts.blogspot.com

2007-12-07T15:31:00.000-05:00

The sun hits in a certain way as it's setting... sun and snow don't mix but an appropriate song playing in the background can help the mood. Unfamiliar in threes. I have nothing against the early sunsets of our winter equinox, in daytime, as the sun reflects on the cold white snow, it makes for twice the usual amount of light -- go early so that my eyes might unsquint. My love, at night, with a light of our own.

watch as the plan unfolds

2007-12-02T17:45:00.000-05:00

and compare here to see how it began.

2007-11-25T01:20:00.000-05:00

october baby

2007-10-31T12:52:00.000-04:00

a new tenant / not an office

2007-10-22T15:02:00.000-04:00

Visit the intruder at 7153 St-Dominique in Montreal.

2007-10-02T11:42:00.000-04:00

200/200

2007-08-15T00:00:00.000-04:00

[august 13th / october 21st 2007 edits] | 200 posts in two years ... to those whom I feel are not as sensitive as I -- perhaps never will be -- falling short in search of resolve, compassion and understanding ... all patience lost admist exchanges that would potentially heal wounds rather than open new ones ... absent in the healing process ... devoid of any interest ... how is the view from the glass house / the hat doesn't fit / very little to gain ... where you think defensive and see guilt, I see genuine and exclusive concern ... in love and warmth -- the anchor rose but the failing protector protects you still.

[ TUESDAY, AUGUST 01, 2006 askdfja;sdfjas | I'm not in the habit of breaking traditions but it became apparent that the last thing I needed was an added unnecessary burden. 'Cause that's what it is really; an overall sad experience. I have an endless supply of souvenirs attatched to the event, the area, the atmosphere and so on... but there's that special half hour where it all vanishes thanks to (generally beautiful) explosions in the sky | TUESDAY, AUGUST 08, 2006 96/100 | a result of any learning process; by sharring (semi-vague) observations, which cannot generate additional discussion (dissection) nor debate when one remains hidden in a husk | FRIDAY, AUGUST 11, 2006 97/100 | I can no longer see the view from the photo | SATURDAY, AUGUST 12, 2006 98/100 | There's an antique piano that calls out to me, in an old house, far far far far far from the city's harsh lights. It hums soothing notes of loneliness in basement with souvenirs of the funeral | MONDAY, AUGUST 14, 2006 99/100 | I fail to understand how one would want to ruin such a pure personal celebration -- with someone else's published perceptions. Perhaps this goes hand in hand with my observation that there are lovers out there who aren't really in love, not unlike lovers who shift sporadically from one lover to another aren't worhty to bare the title | WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 16, 2006 100/100 | Still, a poison flows through our veins from the previous generations. I cannot blame genetics for my vice(s), nor do I, but it ads to my susceptibility. And yes, if you cave in to that notion; you inherit it | SUNDAY, OCTOBER 01, 2006 101/200 | the anchor rises -- like it or not | WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 01, 2006 gardennorthlies | This was vital to her, everything had to be on topic... she felt she was on to something and I'll never get to know if she ever got there, who she was, where she is now | MONDAY, NOVEMBER 06, 2006 061106 | The eviction notice came through the mail, in a legal fashion that I can't argue with. I have to go pick it up once I've returned to Montreal. Nothing will ever be the same | THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 23, 2006 | Forgiven, but not forgotten (I try, I do). Sentiments so painful and I know it's beyond logic, I'm not one to corner emotions nor weigh them as such (in comparison) but this isn't normal / it is what lingers above me. I never surrender to the sentiment (abandon=adopting) but it is beyond our control at times. It is nothing but a severe slump. I believe things had to change, else you might've found me dead in the cursed bedroom | MONDAY, NOVEMBER 27, 2006 duplicity [02] | It's not really about admitting to the adoption of a faulty (my opinon) moral or trait; it's about knowing who you are. Whether this "value" will have favorable repercussions in the long run is another matter altogether. Nevertheless, better to be aware of your own qualities and faults (however you perceive them) / the duality of superficiality is that life's challenges, lessons and rewards are usually found beneath the surface | WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 29, 2006 {adp} | The lingering fatigue in my eyes has merged with my corporate blood-soak-inked signature while I notice that I am nearly outside. So very close | MONDAY, DECEMBER 11, 2006 {wtn} | Where once I could look out the window, accross the garden (as it was on the balcony also but it has turned into a cold lifeless thing), and see the busy street corner, reminding me of the life outside; now I am their window / My close friends have all been either attached or thrown out of this place; I cannot confide in any of them about it without bringing back past scars to life (though I literally live with those scars still, as they perhaps still do, at a distance). But for the record, these halls were mine to begin with and I did behave accordingly | THURSDAY, DECEMBER 14, 2006 {nsstc} | De moins en moins de place pour les notes tristes. Fait moi sentir le mois de décembre pour vrai et/ou viens me voir | THURSDAY, DECEMBER 28, 2006 cried and cried | A precious classic man mourns his loss and mourns silently the missing support he should be getting / A serious offense that I'll remember | WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 24, 2007 new post / click / type | I understand the policy to take a deeper look into these things but it's the outcome that would drive me mad | THURSDAY, JANUARY 25, 2007 I fought the law and Loto-Québec won | The staff locked the doors, regulars standing at the bar, drinks in hand -- the ashtrays came out and we all lit up a cigarette at the bar. Like it used to be | TUESDAY, JANUARY 30, 2007 mend | an ultimately negative result of one's lack of confidence and self-esteem, hence the lenghty (though beneficial) autoanalytical posts shown here | THURSDAY, MARCH 01, 2007 h/e 150 march | Never safe / Soon to change | THURSDAY, MARCH 08, 2007 h/e 153 march | It remains a personal victory to be able to have a non-problematic drink with friends and also being able to honestly enjoy it / But I tell ya, when in times of panic, distress and the occasional insomnia; that fucking liquor will make the problems disapear (though temporarily) and it'll knock you back to slumberland likity split if necessary / F-you, it works / It does! It's bad, it has concequences but on that oh so problematic moment -- it does the job / It's very difficult to ignore this FACT | TUESDAY, MARCH 13, 2007 h/e 155 march | saloppe en publique rarement saloppe au lit | THURSDAY, MARCH 22, 2007 h/e 159 march | And just like a sign of the times (add the weather in there) with the due date rapidly/slowly coming about (which I swear, still does not feel real), I live in surreal excess with borrowed money/time/emotion and I drink/ignore/create as if I'll never be able/available/allowed to when that day comes / [sign of the times = bullshit, by the way] | TUESDAY, APRIL 03, 2007 h/e 162 march | A widespread effect with possible long-term concequences and an exile that should will prove to be beneficial through perseverance and adjustment. Although some ties may be impetouously cut -- it is in no way a permanent severance. Adjusting to the new characters and chapters initiated by an authority that will instantly lose all dominance once the new book begins. Distant locations not distant memories | FRIDAY, MAY 11, 2007 duplicity [04] | A lover can really harm you, it's the ideal offensive but it is always remedied with time (or so you hope, and you should) 'cause ultimately you let the lover in, you've always got your share of the blame | FRIDAY, JUNE 01, 2007 duplicity [06] | In the hour that went from May to June and more to come | MONDAY, JUNE 04, 2007 / june [02] | Making certain that nothing'll be taken for granted / From the northern edge of the arcs to the east, west, south and everything in between; the axis now pulling in my family other than the numerous times you may spot them on the balcony / What they deserve, is more than I can list. This morning, forced into an offensive position, the right words that were juggling inside my head from the past months and years came out as violent loaded guns, there is little left to lose but the little left is worth fighting for | THURSDAY, JUNE 21, 2007 / june [04] In a (the) wide empty living room, under (the) two chandeleers, I set up my work space for the nine remaining days at the most inopportune of times / Loud music will echo naturally within the empty space, under the dim (barely lit) lights / Preparing my own final echoes, hoping they might be hum by (the) ghosts of the past long after my departure. Thank you C & W | THURSDAY, JUNE 28, 2007 / june [06] | Every tenant was invited back, save for one, but she did not enjoy the place to begin with / Even those who never had official residency are leaving so to speak / Not very far though... and not for very long either / Family turns corporate, it's not unheard of / Fortunately however, no one will ever experience it as we did back then / Onto new and better things, you gotta bounce back -- or you can wallow in it for the remainder of your life, which is fine by me, as long as you don't complain about a situation you choose not to rectify | FRIDAY, JULY 13, 2007 h/e 180 JULY | there is much to do in (precious) little time and it could get overwhelming fast / This is why it's all about focus and discipline here in the exile that is my temporary residence | SATURDAY, AUGUST 11, 2007 196/200 | A topic du jour often leads back to past references, past experiences, past comparisons, dated lessons and all their combined decreasing validities -- this must happen instinctively because logic states that new gets old quick -- therefore a faulty reflex that prevents the absorption of newfound situations, despite repeating patterns / If you believe in history repeating, you might as well just sit back and surrender all control | SUNDAY, AUGUST 12 / OCTOBER 2007 197/200 | La voix dans ma tête est d'un vieil anglais dramatique (à ne pas trop prendre au sérieux), c'est la trame sonore incessante de tout mes moments seuls. Elle me berce dans un vaste jardin anglais froid aux tons mossades de gris, de verts et de rares rouges percants / Le jardin est légèrement décoré d'antiquités, de certaines curiosités quasi-familières aux airs d'illusions et des pièces d'art qui n'ont jamais été terminés / Il y a également une mer brumeuse à l'extérieur qui se révèle en temps opportuns pour faire contraste à la nature riche (mais entretenue) du jardin / I recall the blinding high hedges of the backyard garden, pale greens and gray skies that welcomed me as I finally made it out ]