Montreal winter coming in slowly. It's like autumn's being skipped. It brings me back to something personal that I'm not eager to share... To me 2005 wasn't even about moving on, it's like I've mentionned countless times on this blog; it's a breather. Guess it's more about staying still. In all honesty, I am envious of those who can move on faster, those who can brush aside the past like it was nothing. More power to them but there's evidently something unhealthy about constant change. I'm not here dissecting it all to death, I'm just "here". My destination has a long road. I can't help but think that I must come off as the pathetic voyager going nowhere -- slowly. It's an ego thing. Why else would I care? It's very obvious. There's a little text I've written to myself, back in March of this year, when I had a correct grasp on my life. I have to go back to it from time to time to set me straight. Everything slowly comes back to perspective. There's a particular passage that I tend to forget, anyone who's ever been hurt is prone to forget. We all fear worst case scenarios but I've found that focusing on the latter is a better way of life.
I listened, motionless and still; And, as I mounted up the hill, The music in my heart I bore, Long after it was heard no more.
[ William Worsdworth : The Solitary Reaper 29 ~ 32 ]
yesterday morning I realized, after driving 300 miles at 90mph to sleep in my own bed, that I’ve become enslaved by a schedule that I myself created - instead of owning my commitments, they own me. so my new mantra is: make time
[ David Pajo : The Pink Hollers Newsletter ~ make time ]