cible

Right here looking at my bed; the sheets are all mixed up, there's an acoustic guitar on it, some clothes & a book -- all of which I fell asleep with/next to last night. Really makes for awful slumber. It never is satisfying sleep either, I know insomnia's a huge « trend » now or something but it has alot to do with the morning after. Every wake is a sudden burst of stress, like my daily agenda rushes to brain for one hell of a bad start. Heart pumping adrenaline stressful start. Makes me even more greatful for my roomate's coffee. This is one hell of a typical blog isn't it? Whine whine and more wine. Another trend is the bottle, drugs even -- they do help you sleep, I mean it's hypocritical to say otherwise -- it's a bad habit but it works. It really works. I haven't done so in over a year now but I can still say it. I'll say this too, I don't fall asleep... I collapse to sleep. It's a good way to ensure that I won't be turning around over and over for hours while my mind goes back and forth, heart palpitations towards anxiety -- loosing sleep over things I can't change. Collapse to sleep, boom, no thought, just pure exhaustion and you're out for the count. Something else that makes me sleep better, very simple and common; sleeping next to my lover. And I don't mean a deep sleep after sex, to me anyway, that changes nothing. I mean lying next to and sharing a bed (your intimacy) with the one you love. I'll settle for the collapse in the meantime.