I'm watching rain pour outside through my bedroom window while finalizing some work. Behind me, on awful mattresses, there's a huge lazy cat resting on one of my old suits (he claimed it as his own a few weeks ago). To my left, a semi-consumed cup of joe, borrowed cigarettes and a paint palette with twine in its center... On my right there are secrets. I'm half way through to my self appointed deadline, overdue not only for work but one hell of a shave. Time to step outside for a few minutes, pick up a random spring coat from the floor (it isn't necessary to take a quick look in the mirror; I'm aware that I am getting even closer to my poor-classic-sick-crooner-aging-quickly look than I've ever been, the temperature is inviting and makes for a superb camouflage), cross out "borrow" and start again, as if maybe my family and I can finally see a minuscule ray of light at the end of our tunnel, temporary but still a light.