quiet nights of quiet stars

... quiet chords from my guitar | another difficult week ahead / here's my weekend pause / you know where to find us / write back to everyone / stay close to home / the peaceful outdoors of warm city nights / no time for you pessimists / it's a "see you then"; it's not an "end" / I could've stayed, I could've moved, I can come back, I can see you in London / there are six pieces, so far very unpopular and very misunderstood; it's a good sign / quick hello, out of smokes, see you then.

duplicity [05]

duplicity [04]

duplicity in subtlety | Like I said in January '07 "Let it linger, attack later" -- I spontaneously attacked this morning, maybe the most (and first) successful attempt yet. I'm on a cautious high, very close to its end but not necessarily a fulfilling end but an imposed point of no return. A few years back, I stumbled upon a set of antique black and white photographs my family took of "la nuit rouge"; the Rimouski fire of 1950. Our roots, homes, souvenirs and birth records all gone in flames. It might've given the Church more control over the younger french generations in its aftermath, or maybe not, but those that had found shelter in religious retreats soon saw its malicious duplicity. I've finally found a use for the shots as a parallel to my current life (instead of risking an homage to the actual event) done in sublety as is the interpretation of the theme itself. There was no way I was going to go the obvious route of illustrating duplicity by evidently exposing different coin sides on every art piece (ie: oh, here's a sad girl on the right and a happy one of the left -- genius). And that was one part of the struggle. Subtle deceptions as opposed to misleading behaviors. What seems to be one thing quickly turns into another. And then there's the issue of long lasting repercussions. Perhaps insignificant at first but somehow still hovering over you today. Could be age, I don't know, there just isn't a lot of people in any position to harm me anymore. Not that kind of harm anyway. It seems that duplicity in surroundings can have more of a long term effect than treason coming from any individual 'cause unless the love and trust go both ways, it's just unfortunate deceit. One other nuisance. A lover can really harm you, it's the ideal offensive but it is always remedied with time (or so you hope, and you should) 'cause ultimately you let the lover in, you've always got your share of the blame. How long can that really last? That's not the deception I fear, that's the deception I can eventually grow out of, calculate and perhaps even anticipate. Although if it did mold you into what you are today, hopefully in terms of an intense relationship that lasted years, then that doesn't fall in the same category anymore. It is no longer deception, it's just you, maybe a different you, who cares really, just go on about your day. It isn't what I fear. I fear that damn alleyway... that damn word... the object, the color, the way the sun hits the building, the souvenir you forgot, the souvenir you take for granted that comes back to haunt you no matter how trivial it may seem -- when one thing quickly turns into another and you're transposed elsewhere. They're invisible threats that you can't control. And now I have to show you what it looks like on paper.

Sick of the STM

"You witness one of Montreal's uglier faces when taking a bus ride / it is also so rare to be greeted by a kind STM employee that it is not only noticed but later discussed as an exceptional occurence. Chapeau." ~ h/e March 2007 | Everyone has an STM story. None of them are very positive. It's a fact that the city's not very civil, there are worse places to be sure, but we're in pretty bad shape. Some would argue that it is reflected in the overall mood of most STM employees as they're subjected to our city's collective on an endless daily basis. Whatever, we've learned to cope with it. I'm aware that I'll get the slightest attention (if any) at my local Metro booth when I (dare) purchase a pass or tickets for transportation... and that tiny bit of attention is often, if not always, very arrogant. Whatever, we've learned to cope with it. Now here's one of those fabled STM stories, please read: There was an irregular line of people where my friend takes the bus every morning. She found out that the previously scheduled bus had not shown and so obviously the next one was in a hurry to make the rounds. This sort of thing happens, it's alright. As it arrived, it was quickly boarded by the line-up and there appeared to be sufficient space for all to enter. But as my friend started boarding the bus, the driver shouted "attention" and closed the doors shut directly on my friend's foot, her wrist and her backpack leaving her trapped on the exterior of the bus. The female driver did not verify if anyone was boarding as she closed the doors knowing full well there were still plenty of people waiting in line -- she was in hurry and decided a sufficient amount of passengers had walked in. She also did not notice my friend trapped outside of the door. The bus went back on course, speeding away from the stop with my friend still stuck in/and outside of the door itself. My friend quickly managed to untangle herself from the door, freed herself from what might've been a perilous journey (as you can easily imagine). I cannot reveal any further details on the subject as this extreme act of negligence on behalf of the STM and the driver could (should) lead to further xxxxx mesures. Completely fucking intolerable. Unacceptable. This was not posted in conjunction with my friend's accord, she has no association with husk/essem, my only wish was to spread the word on this incident so that we may continue to stand-up against these assholes (with appologies to the miniscule percentage who are actually decent). Sending positive vibes to my dear friend.