that kind of week-end

I'm sitting here smoking a barrowed smoke from mc, drinking a "blanche" (which I opened up as if by reflex I swear) waiting to discuss with **** about his new album and the art I will be making for it, this is something that I take very seriously, websites change... they come and go but album art is precious, it's final, it's the music's static visual identity; its flag if you will, the universe of colors and images you set your mind to while listening to the album's music. Week-ends like these help me clear my mind; there was absolutely nothing constructive about it and there's no fowl in that. Good friends, good quiet times (minus the occasional bar freak) all in all it was well deserved r&r. I might just head out for some coffee or something a bit later, just to get some dust off and start the week on the right path... 'cause if I don't, it'll end falling asleep amongst paperwork and deadlines, not unlike any other day but you can stray from that during week-ends. If I do get a shot at this album, March will take on a whole new significance. I should post my progress on the blog and take you with me on this "journey" of sorts, humming notes to the creation of something new and relevant.

where to?

Well, might not be the UK this year after all, but like I've said before, I might go there someday and never come back. Instead I'll "business-it-up" down in Cali. But until then, on the home front; where in Montreal do you feel at ease? I was always very attracted to the Old Port (sangria at pub st-paul also..) but now, like so many other areas in the city, it's like I'm not allowed to hang there anymore. Maybe a few "nightlife" spots left on St-Laurent (unless they're 25 and over bars, I mean come on..) 'cause it makes my blood boil to be amongst the fakest peeps the city's ever seen. Oh yes, and superficial nightlife whores, I can't say it enough, here's one rant on the subject from last year : read about nightlife whore karma. Misogyny? Not really, but can you blame me? I've been labeled as a bitter person, and the obvious points are shown all over this blog, with rants about cultural spotlights on Montreal's "indie" scene, superficial nightlife spots -- these usually come from people who resent trends when they're excluded from the movement. Now you judge if that fits my character or not. I won't hold it against you. I'll ask it again; where in Montreal do you feel at ease? Montreal has such a huge cultural calendar of events, that's something to be proud of... off the top of my head you will spot me at the Jazz Fest, Nuit Blanche perhaps, FFM, not too sure about La Ronde's Fireworks, saddens me a bit, but every year I find a way to view them by myself. A cliché would be to mention the St-Sulpice, everyone hates it and everyone loves it. Tell me that huge terrasse doesn't represent "summer in Montreal" to you. Almost anything on St-Denis is still safe to me. Then again, I'm not fond of The Mount-Royal. It's beautiful, but I'm not comfortable there. La Place Des Arts and the surrounding area, I love hanging out there. On Mount-Royal there are lots of places I enjoy, especially when I go out alone, Baracca, Bily Kun, Le Boudoir is a last resort when the other two are too packed. I have two secret spots I'll keep to myself. I used to enjoy going to Le Roi Bar back when I had forgotten about fashion. In my neck of the woods we have two similar bars on St-Hubert, both of them very charming; Le Petit Medley and the SoHo. I would really love to play shows there but people rarely go up that high just to hear some tunes. Our italian second home, The Zeebra where you can drop in and see me on an almost daily basis, it's hidden on the edge of Little Italy like a diamond in the rough. These are just a few events and locations that I've listed off the top of my head, it does make me realize that I used to own the city a bit more pre-2002 though I don't feel the need to broaden my horizons -- I'd rather eventually move out entirely.

Montreal [02]

Anticipating week-end events; makes you forget about the following week. "Oh, that was it? Ok, here we go again." It's all about surviving Montreal's cold and dark winter embrace -- although it might be warm in summer, it is always cold. Living in Montreal, to me, has always been a serious challenge. I've seen my design notoriety increase in the city because I've worked in non-Canadian cities and it had nothing to do with my talents nor my knowledge of the trade; working in Los Angeles, New York... working with clients from the UK... all of it more impressive in Montreal than any nomination/award or local endeavor. Do I take advantage of this? Fuck yes. Not only does it show that you can by-pass Montreal but it lessens the city's overall importance. The city's echoes bounce back within its' walls. Why should that be so attractive to conquer? And there you have it. I've said it before, the city has a very rich artistic development/comunity with a very small pedastal. "Montreal's playing hard to get." I guess the city might make you feel like an elitist if you get her but it is in fact a very small victory, very lonely at the top. If your echoes remain in the city, they'll fade fast. Flavors of the month like Spin's coverage of the indie St-Laurent music scene. Not saying that it isn't good music but where were they during the Grim Skunk/Groovy Aardvark days? Ahhh you get it now, don't you?

destructive void

As these past weeks' dramas slowly come to a close one by one (re: breather), the objective point of art-disciplines rises up again. No pygmalion this year, no recording until summer, done with interfere with lovers not yet ready for la nuit rouge, no visits to other cities planned as of yet -- it's high time to fill up that agenda again. I want my on-stage revenge, a show with a huge DEPRESSIVE tag-line warning; love it or hate it ('cause I do) / art supplies if only for P*** or future prints (work goes without saying, not my point here) / my own collection of Montreal (?) black and white photographies for additional wall decorations (not public selling, it isn't my vice) / the le soir sampler / a summer without summer clothing (?)... / the alco-art experiment ...amongst other things, just a small list off the top of my head.

one valentine's

On the night of february 14th 2003, I was given a trail of paper hearts with clues and directions to follow, it all led to one magical evening. The most thoughtful and innovative Valentine's offering I've ever received from any lover. A reminder of how the good times generally make it harder to forget... one would argue that "hard to forget" means that it isn't sought to be forgotten at all. And there's a lot of unconcious truth in that. It's been my experience (and belief) that it is an unknown source that can alter this, either that or time. The remainder of my thoughts on this subject are personal.

a little upward hill

Drastic changes occured last week and we've settled some issues. Makes the list much less of a burden. It was about time. It ain't perfect, it never is... as I woke up today semi-stress-less I might be in the middle of a much needed breather. It should be about catching up. One little upward hill, take 5 then cross out more. Yesterday I was "attacked" by a group of deranged fundamentalist christians on ste-catherine street, they didn't seem to enjoy my responses about "the invisible man" nor my idea that spirituality shouldn't cost any money... You can take pity on brainwashed people but not when they're assaulting people, that makes them fair game. As the opposition builded up on the same street corner, my new accolyte suggested fighting fire with water -- and it worked wonders.

080206

Yesterday I was on the topic of alcohol dependency with a friend of mine and I mentionned that it was at "that point" again, that very dangerous fine line, so I decided to cut down on drinking for a while. Cue two hours later around 5pm, I opened up a bottle of Masi '03 red wine and drank it all by my lonesome. Talk about doing a 180 on principles... I was just sick of feeling sadness and stress so I spontaneously decided to make it go away for a little while. And it did. But yeah, you know, it hits twice as hard when the buzz goes away and that is how drinking works. An empty stomach, head full of pain and sadness makes inebriation come quickly and last a bit longer. It's a pathetic out... does it work though? Yeah. I also loathe that "oh it's winter, it's that time of year" depression tag. I'm sorry but everything is seriously fucked lately and it has nothing to do with lack of light and or vitamin C. Is the pursuit of harmony so hard to venture onto? I love my family, I love my close friends -- when they feel good, I feel better. It helps. No good decision making can come out of times like these. It's all very dark. 'Til then I blow out candles whising nothing but positivity for myself and anyone around me. 'Cause, aside from all this being an ego thing, it's like no matter what I do, I feel responsible. And I am very responsible in some situations, others are merely repercussions or indirect matters that affect me. Out of paths, cycles and calculations come interesting and idiotic patterns -- all unreliable. Have I cursed every single person whom I've shared my life with?

hail hail the birthday boy

26, though I look 35. Alcohol doesn't help the skin. Torn between change and abandonment. Everyone changes but I mean drastic change. The past comes back with a vengance. Friends visit to celebrate, very flattering then just as 2006 would like it, immediately forgotten. As if worthy punishment. For the first time in years, sadness overbearing makes the birthday seem like any other day. Can't help anyone when you can't help yourself. Negative energy and its' dreadful concequences, instant satisfaction / long term issues. Painful eyelids. Nervous hands, agonal respirations, no room to cope. An attack. Different attacks. Efforts in understanding, losing sight of vital issues. A call from years back, rings like it was yesterday (rang twice). I wasn't able to lie, no point in doing so. "How are you?" - "I'm... terrible, and you?". Five minutes per year, worth being honest. Uncertain residency. Fragile family. Client claims an illness, arises more fear in my own work. Obsolete 2005 self-help texts. Devious insane worthless angst-ridden 2004 observation texts. Exteriorizing violence, not me, never was, short fuse, things break, hands hurt. Wishing escape, worst solution. Avoided last year, necessary this year? And baby makes three. I see escaping as failure. Understanding comes from confrontation. Escape once you've won. Go out with a bang, head high with pride. Missing blank. My ego asks when we can get compensation. My curiosity kills it. Weakness. Makes it pathetic. Wrong path. Fyunal said something about 2002. Necessary breather to gain focus, wait 'til then.

oh imminent collapse

A few days ago I got an email from a girl who bought a set of "interfere with lovers" prints and she told me that upon receiving the package she immediately mailed it back to her ex-lover. How do you respond to that? I'm not sure if she mailed it back as an affront or as a parting gift but that goes with the theme; it's all open for interpretation. No matter how it's perceived though, her gesture exteriorized negativity. Blatantly giving in and not giving a damn. That got me thinking... might as well try the latter if everything else failed as of late. My school of thought used to be that negativity results in negativity and that positivity results in a "chance". Really, with both ends of the candle getting oh so close -- why not just go mad and give in for a little while.